Un consejo de la vida es a encontrar lo que te hace feliz y hacerlo. Cuando los colores se marchitan y estoy atrapada en la desolación de mi mente, estos pequeños recuerdos de felicidad me jalan atras a la realidad y me ayuden a construir la persona que aún no ha encontrado: yo.
As we grow up, many of us are told to do what makes us happy–that is, until the reality of being an adult demands that you be practical, which is probably one of the most soul-crushing slaps in the face that anyone will encounter. I think that there is a strong belief that it is a Herculean task to have a job that makes you happy and pays the bills at the same time. Something I’ve noticed is that the younger the person, the less effort they want to put forth to. In this age where instant fame and gratification is easily achieved and glamorized, hard work and consequences aren’t given much of a second thought.
I admit that I have insistent daydreams about that kind of lifestyle–the “Hollywood” life where success is everywhere. It’s bittersweet for me to create this whole other life for myself (meeting celebrities, befriending them, traveling around the world,
being rich being financially stable, wearing brand new clothes/shoes, the cars, food, etc.), but I know better. It’s probably one of the hardest lifestyles to suffer through. Constantly being in the public eye, all the scrutiny, no job security, and there’s a reason you hear that many famous people battle with depression or other mental illnesses. Plus all the other horrors that never get exposed to the public. We, as people, are not kind to other people.
I don’t know where I want to be in 10 years, much less what I’m going to do after I graduate with my degree
this year. It’s taken me six years just to get this far and it’s been terrifying. I don’t know if I want a repeat of the experience–it’s been a rollercoaster ride in the dark. I suspect that it only gets worse from here, at least that’s what my own life experience has taught me. I don’t know what’s going to happen next.
What I do know is that I’ve found little bits of happiness and I that I want to spend my life finding more of those. I want to document all the happiness I feel so that when I find myself stuck in my head, I have validation that my happiness is real. I’m no Dorothea Lange or any of the photographers I follow on Instagram, but I’ve come to realize (and still struggle at times to accept) that it really shouldn’t matter who thinks what of my work unless I honestly want their opinion.
I’m doing this because “sharing is caring”; when I am feeling murky and introspective is more than just a recreational activity, I know that I take to looking for others or reading all angst that might have an inkling about the tar inside. The connection that I feel, the knowledge that I am not alone, is why I will share my “nuggets of happiness” in hopes that others like me find a bit of solace in them.